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Kids Can Rock and Roll
Kids Can Rock and Roll was a nightmarish parade of gaudily made-up men enacting little bits in the formless void interspersed with insipid songs about respecting authority and doing your homework. It was a cheap effort at instilling pro-social values in a generation that was coming up on Bubble Tape commercials, toy slime, and killer fairies. In…
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Zolar: The Roleplaying Game
Hey, glad you could make it. Turns out the rest of the crew couldn’t be here, though. Yeah, Jessie’s got a stomach thing, Kareem’s dogsitting, and Dave got grabbed by ICE. It’s cool, though. I picked up this new one-shot game we can play instead of our regular campaign. I know, I really wanted to…
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Gene Simmons’ Firestarter Cover
Today, Gene Simmons is best known as the star of a reality show that blatantly ripped off The Osbournes and as a character in a first-person shooter for the Dreamcast. But what you might not know is that he was also a musician! KISS was a “rock band” — we don’t have those anymore but imagine if…
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Holy Spirit Miracle Academy
Today it’s hard to remember that there was a time when the right wing was vocally opposed to all things Harry Potter. Back in the 2000s, the biggest crime a piece of media could commit for the religious right was not being “woke,” but undermining Christian values by encouraging children to cast magic spells, capture…
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Peachtree Carnivore
Many of the great works of literature deploy narrative in service of a social argument. Madame Bovary rails against the romantic delusions of the bourgeoisie. Brave New World warns against a future where humanity is enslaved by means more insidious than punitive repression. And Ready Player One passionately urges us to never, ever forget Ghostbusters. Peachtree Carnivore by Mark Mitchell is such a…
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The Batman Claritin Allergy Special Issue
As America enters its Century of Humiliation, its political leadership is hard at work trying to make the country as unattractive as possible to potential tourist dollars. Consider that this may have the incredible result of creating a wave of embittered, ex-theme park employees with stolen mascot costumes, easy access to firearms, and a grudge…
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White Cobra Diamond Fox vs The Golden Eye
I think it was Simone de Beauvoir who said that we will know feminism has achieved its aim precisely when women are allowed to be as deranged, incompetent, and generally mediocre as men without it reflecting on their sex as a whole. And from that perspective, perhaps those women who doggedly pursue lives of self-obsessed…
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Alligator Pie
Fish don’t realize they’re in water until they’re plucked out of it. Canadians don’t realize how specific their culture is until they move to another country. It took dedicated effort to purge “toque” and “pop” from my vocabulary when I first arrived in the US. Trickier was not making reference to children’s entertainment whose cultural…
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Cuomo and the Quest for Gracie Mansion
You are Andrew Cuomo, disgraced former governor of New York State. Can you beat Zohran Mamdani in the New York mayoral race? Probably not. But try anyway! Six endings to discover and lots of Real Cuomo Facts to learn. Play on itch.io
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Fighting Fit with Rowdy Roddy Piper
As a recent convert to the fighting arts, I approach combat sports with the lunatic zeal of a rich 25-year-old who just discovered Catholicism. Unlike them, I don’t claim to know better than the Pope — I still believe that Bas Rutten is the Punch God’s representative on earth. I’m now hearing that Bas Rutten…